BREAKING: Robbery At The Capitol Leads To Only One Possible Suspect

Capitol Hill had its first robbery in more than a century last night when Evidence Room 13B, located off of the chamber of Trey Gowdy’s Committee to Convict Clinton, was raided and emptied. Not a single piece of paper or hard drive remained.

The room had somehow been removed from the standard “24-hour guard” status it was on and instead designated a “low-priority no-lock zone.” Capitol Police thought that was odd but are reluctant to question orders from above:

“We knew what was in there, or what had been in there. It’s a pretty big deal knowing the entire Benghazi and Clinton email cases are sitting in boxes in that room. We thought they moved them.”

The boxes of evidence hadn’t been moved. The officers left the door locked as an extra precaution but the guard desk, padlock and camera were removed as per “low priority” status. The next morning, they found the door kicked in and the room empty.

Without being sure if the contents of the room were even there when the incident happened, there was nothing but a kicked-in door to report. It wasn’t until Congressman Gowdy got to work that the situation became a reason to panic:

“Years of work. Gone. They took the backups of the backups. Three other lockers with hard drives that were top-secret were also compromised. This is Obama’s Shadow State Government under the direction of or helping the Clintons.”

Police know exactly who did this but they have little hope of actually finding proof. Once again, the Clinton Crime Syndicate and their powerful friends still in government will get away with it.

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